A Clean Heart Create For Me, God

So, this passage is famous for a lot of reasons (as you can see - me and Scott chose the same one). It is well-known for many reasons, none of which is more important than why it was written.  This prayer comes from the heart of David as he sits among the broken remnants of his life.  A life that was blessed by God, but broken by his sinful choices.  We all know the story... David, in his weakness, a weakness that was probably paved my many other smaller choices of weakness, steals from God instead of receiving from Him. In his want, he sees something and grasps, taking it as his own. Instead of trusting that God, his Father that called him and whom he knew well, would be the answer to his greatest desires, he stole from His beauty.  Then from there, well, we know the story well.  One thing led to another, a woman is pregnant, he has her husband murdered and David's life is never the same again.  His choices all probably felt rational in the midst of them.  To us, they were atrocious.  But I thought this morning in prayer, isn't that us?  Isn't that me?  All the time my want and distrust lead me to steal from God instead of receive from Him.  I know the depths of His love and know if I trust He will answer, but still I won't always let myself go there.  And I end up like David begging to be filled again anew with joy of right relationship with God.

But even further, I think this passage shows us the depths of David's heart.  The goodness.  His heart truly is contrite and he know what true contrition is... "You desire a broken and contrite heart." "Thank you for these broken bones..."  He gets it and I think he always did.  BUT, we don't see the depths of David's heart until he falls.  It is not until then that he wants with everything to have back what he lost and serve God with everything that he is.

"A clean heart create for me, God.  Renew within me a steadfast spirit." Ps. 51:12

"Restore to me the gladness of your salvation, uphold for me with a wiling spirit" Ps. 51: 14

"I will teach the wicked your ways, that sinners may rerun to you." Ps. 51: 15

Isn't that us?  Isn't that me?  I become content sometimes knowing the depth of God only through my desire to have him back when I choose to lose Him.  Ya feel me? I know He wants SO MUCH MORE and I know there is so much more waiting for me.  I know in my secret heart (Ps. 51:6) the fullness of joy awaits me and one that can only grow, not move backwards.  One that will grow to a mystical life, a life of service and finally one of eternal joy.  But I am content, comfortable, rather, with staying in this strange, manly thing. This constant, cyclical nature of a spiritual life that takes shape from me saying, "Nah, God, I got this" and then realizing I don't after I fail and feel the weight of my choices.  This morning, I was challenged to step beyond this.  To step beyond only knowing the depths of my heart when I fall and beat myself up for doing so.  I was challenged to choose virtue instead of sometimes-virtue.

And then I remembered this quote from C.S. Lewis that I read yesterday that brought it together for me:

"We can't go on indefinitely just being ordinary, decent eggs.  We must be hatched or go bad." 

This is Matt, and I'll see you next time, but you don't have to take my word for it.